Eryn Maisie Gardiner-Frost

Eryn was born sleeping at 09:17 on Sunday 9th March 2008. She was 40 +2
Eryn died due to meconium aspiration & group B Strep.

My little pudding was perfect ten fingers, ten toes, everything perfect. She is now in heaven with
her nanny Gill and Uncle Aaron.

Her mummy and daddy miss her very much xxx

I had a difficult early pregnancy, I was very sick and ended up in hospital for 5 days as I was
extremely dehydrated. We were then high risk for Downs and had to make the decision to risk having a
amnio, we took it and three very long days later we were given the all clear. We were so relieved
and thought we had lived through the worst. The rest of the pregnancy thanks to anti sickness
tablets went well. We had the 4d scan, bought every picture and dvd, think we would have bought the
tshirt if one was available. Her name was chosen as soon as we knew we were pregnant so it felt like
we knew almost everything about her even before she arrived. On Sat 8th March I started getting
pains, I went to the cds and was told I was only 1cm dilated so I should go home, they are the
experts so you don't question them, they checked her heart briefly and all seemed well, I was
nervous but so excited, we went home to wait. By Sunday morning I was in a lot of pain, she didn't
seem very active but I just thought thats because I'm in labour. We arrived at hospital and was seen
quite quickly, the midwife checked Eryn's heart beat with the probe and said it seemed fine, but she
would put me on the monitor to be sure. She hooked it all up and we heard the heartbeat, I smiled at
Steven and said thank god at which point pudding gave me a kick. The midwife gave me a drink and
said that if the heart goes below 100bpm to press the button, the door had not even closed behind
her and it started dropping rapidly, 100, 90, 80 it just kept dropping I screamed at Steven to press
the button but in my head I just though the belt had moved. The midwife ran in and pulled the
emergency button thats when all **** broke loose. There were about 10 people in the room all talking
medical jargon, Steven was pushed away and it was only then that I started to worry. They told me I
needed an emergency c-section and that I would be given a general, Steven ran alongside my bed, I
told him I loved him and to look after Eryn until I woke up. I was then in theatre and before I knew
it I was counting backwards. I woke up in recovery and the nurse calling my name could not look me
in the eye, I asked her if Eryn was ok and she just said that someone would come and speak to me. I
knew that second. Steven and a consultant came in next and told me. No one gave me a reason no one
could tell me why. We spent two days at the hospital and was lucky enough to have Eryn with us in a
special room. She looked perfect, I looked all over to see if I could find an answer, I dressed her
and on the Monday I said goodbye. I just cant believe it, everyday I think that if I had gone in
earlier would things be different? I will never know. I miss her so much, for seconds I still catch
myself thinking I'm pregnant as I'm still recovering from the operation and still have a very
swollen belly, I feel like someone has taken all my dreams away, one minute I'm angry, one minute
I'm sad, one minute I think about eneding it all, one minute I don't accept it. It just hurts like
no other pain.