| Location | Sudbury |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 3/2008 |
| Date of Death | 3/2008 |
| Visitors | 3,042 since 25/03/2008 |
| Creator |
Eryn was born sleeping at 09:17 on Sunday 9th March 2008. She was 40 +2
Eryn died due to meconium aspiration & group B Strep.
My little pudding was perfect ten fingers, ten toes, everything perfect. She is now in heaven with
her nanny Gill and Uncle Aaron.
Her mummy and daddy miss her very much xxx
I had a difficult early pregnancy, I was very sick and ended up in hospital for 5 days as I was
extremely dehydrated. We were then high risk for Downs and had to make the decision to risk having a
amnio, we took it and three very long days later we were given the all clear. We were so relieved
and thought we had lived through the worst. The rest of the pregnancy thanks to anti sickness
tablets went well. We had the 4d scan, bought every picture and dvd, think we would have bought the
tshirt if one was available. Her name was chosen as soon as we knew we were pregnant so it felt like
we knew almost everything about her even before she arrived. On Sat 8th March I started getting
pains, I went to the cds and was told I was only 1cm dilated so I should go home, they are the
experts so you don't question them, they checked her heart briefly and all seemed well, I was
nervous but so excited, we went home to wait. By Sunday morning I was in a lot of pain, she didn't
seem very active but I just thought thats because I'm in labour. We arrived at hospital and was seen
quite quickly, the midwife checked Eryn's heart beat with the probe and said it seemed fine, but she
would put me on the monitor to be sure. She hooked it all up and we heard the heartbeat, I smiled at
Steven and said thank god at which point pudding gave me a kick. The midwife gave me a drink and
said that if the heart goes below 100bpm to press the button, the door had not even closed behind
her and it started dropping rapidly, 100, 90, 80 it just kept dropping I screamed at Steven to press
the button but in my head I just though the belt had moved. The midwife ran in and pulled the
emergency button thats when all **** broke loose. There were about 10 people in the room all talking
medical jargon, Steven was pushed away and it was only then that I started to worry. They told me I
needed an emergency c-section and that I would be given a general, Steven ran alongside my bed, I
told him I loved him and to look after Eryn until I woke up. I was then in theatre and before I knew
it I was counting backwards. I woke up in recovery and the nurse calling my name could not look me
in the eye, I asked her if Eryn was ok and she just said that someone would come and speak to me. I
knew that second. Steven and a consultant came in next and told me. No one gave me a reason no one
could tell me why. We spent two days at the hospital and was lucky enough to have Eryn with us in a
special room. She looked perfect, I looked all over to see if I could find an answer, I dressed her
and on the Monday I said goodbye. I just cant believe it, everyday I think that if I had gone in
earlier would things be different? I will never know. I miss her so much, for seconds I still catch
myself thinking I'm pregnant as I'm still recovering from the operation and still have a very
swollen belly, I feel like someone has taken all my dreams away, one minute I'm angry, one minute
I'm sad, one minute I think about eneding it all, one minute I don't accept it. It just hurts like
no other pain.
I Miss you
Hello gorgeous girl, I try to light a candle every single day so you know I am thinking of you and missing you. I still cant understand what I did so wrong to have you taken away from me. I had so much love to give you pudding, I love you so much. If I could I would come and be with you but I know daddy and the girls need me here. I know Uncle Aaron and nanny Jill will be looking after you until I come and take over. I look at your beautiful face everyday and just wish you were here for me to hold, instead I hold your blanket. My body feels so empty, my heart seems to have gone, it has just crumbled away into dust. I dont think I will ever be happy again until I am with you. Please come and see me or send me a sign i need to know that you are ok. I love you Pudding and for as long as I have to exist without you you will always be in my heart and mind. xxx
love
mummy
A poem I found just from me to you xxx
I carried you so lovingly,
Within my gentle womb...
And little did I realise,
Your life would end too soon.
I never got the chance to say
'I love you, little one'...
Before I held you in my arms,
Your life on earth was done.
The grief is indescribable,
To lose a child this way...
All the many hopes and dreams,
Just vanished on that day.
I know I'll see the sun shine bright
Upon my baby's face...
When I finally get to heaven,
All my pain will be erased.
We'll soar the skies together,
As angels two by two...
We'll have a sweet reunion
This mother's dream come true.
for your mummy eryn. xxx
We are connected, My child and I,
by an invisible cord, not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord that connects
us 'til birth
This cord can't be seen by any on Earth.
This cord does its work right from the start.
It binds us together, attatched to my heart.
I know that it's there, though no one can see,
The invisible cord from my child to me.
The strength of this cord is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed, it can't be denied.
It's stronger than any cord man could create,
It withstands the test, can hold any weight.
And though you are gone,
Though you are not here with me,
The cord is still there, but no one can see.
It pulls at my heart, I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline, as never before.
I am thankful that God connects us this way,
A mother and child--Death can't take it away!
for kayla with love xxx
If I Could Be An Angel
If I could be an Angel,
I know just what I'd do.
I would guard someone special,
Someone just like you.
I'd be the friend you need,
Anytime day or night.
When you need someone to lead,
I'd guide you with my light.
And if you began to stumble,
I'd reach out my hand to you.
I'd help with all your trouble,
And take away your sorrow too.
But since I'm not an Angel,
By your side I'll stand.
And if you begin to stumble,
I'll reach out my hand.
I thought I saw your face today,
In the sparkle of the morning sun.
And then I heard the angel say, 'Their work on earth is done.'
I thought I heard your voice today,
Then laugh, your hearty laugh.
And then I heard the angel say, 'They are in peace at last.'
I thought I felt your touch today,
In the breeze that rustled by,
And then I heard the angel say, 'The spirit never dies.'
I thought I saw my broken heart
In the crescent of the moon.
And then I heard the angel say, ' The Lord is coming soon.'
I thought that you have left me,
For the stars so far above.
And then I heard the angel say, ' They left you with their love.'
I thought that I would miss you so,
And never find my way.
And then I heard the angel say, ' They're with you every day.'
The sun, the wind, the moon, the stars
Will forever be around, reminding you of the love, you shared,
And the peace, they've finally found.
Little Snowdrop
The world may never notice
If a snowdrop doesn't bloom.
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we longed for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted,
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.
xxx
Twinkle twinkle.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Then your mummy & daddy in the dark
Thanks you for your tiny spark;
We could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
sending love to your mummy & daddy, xxxx
A poem from Eryn to mummy
Don’t let them say I wasn’t born, that something stopped my heart,
I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I loved you from the start.
Although my body you can’t hold, it doesn’t mean I’m gone,
This world was worthy not of me, God chose that I move on,
I know the pain that drowns your soul, what you are forced to face,
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms, someday we will embrace.
You’ll hear that it was “meant to be, God doesn’t make mistakes”
But that won’t soften your worst blow or make your heart not ache.
I’m watching over all you do, another child you’ll bear,
Believe me when I say to you, that I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you, when you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips and then you’ll understand.
Although I never breathed your air, or gazed into your eyes,
That doesn’t mean I never “was”…An Angel Never Dies
couldnt help but write something!
hello, i am so sorry for the loss of your baby eryn. i have lit candles on other peoples sites before but i have never left a tribute, i felt i needed to you on your site. Eryn is soooo cute when ever i see her picture when you have wrote on sands it always makes me say out loud arrr as i think she is such a beautiful baby, you must be very proud. i lost my baby lola on feb 1st this year at 38 weeks. i hope that our babies meet up in heaven and are playing happily together. so sorry again for your loss. Lisa x x
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